goodbye ramadhan 1432 H..hello syawal 1432 H...

ramadhan terakhir...

pejam celik pejam celik..sebulan sudah berlalu...
tahun ini tersangat laa sikit ibadah yg di lakukan pada ramadhan kali ini... :(
ramadhan kali ini juga merupakan ramadhan yg paling sober n sorrow penah aku lalui sepanjang hidup ini...kesiankan... :(
sumpah..banyak gila air mata aku terbazir mengalir..hampir setiap malam laa bole di katakan...
semuanya gara-gara 'dia' yg tetiba berubah dan mendiamkan diri tanpa aku tahu puncanya...
sepertinya kau telah menjadikan aku mangsa keadaan...

owh..nk g buat cookies..nnt sambung lg..oke,bye!

syawal pertama...

tidak seperti tahun-tahun sebelum ini...raya kali ini sgt rilex...tak feel pn..
pagi td bgn pn malas-malas...sumpah takde feel raya...
selalu pagi-pagi da sebok nk mkn ketupat rendang bagai...
tp pagi td nk mkn pn tak lalu...takde nafsu langsung tgk mknan...
bosan..tak taw nk buat apa...
kene tgl uma sorg-sorg sbb keje..suma blek kg...
tp aku tak rasa sedih pn kene tgl uma...
sepertinya semua perasaan aku telah mati....
hmmm.......

oke..bye..nk p keje!

talking to myself... part 3

i can't tell which talk show is real and which one is fake...

and if i don't know, i don't wanna watch it!

orang lain...

org lain yg aku harapkn..tp org lain yg call aku...hadoii...apa laa nasib...tapi atleast..bole laa hiburkan hati nie kejap...tapi mcm weird...kenapa mesti dia...my ex yg sgt aku benci...and i really dont want to baik-baik ngan dia...tapi tadi kami berbual seperti biasa...mcm-mcm yg kami bualkan...lama gak la bergayut...looks like i've move on and forget bout da past...and i think i'm cool with it...tapi tak mungkin kot nak kembali ngan dia seperti dulu-dulu...aku tak bole...tak bole..paham!
ok..bai!

lost in translation....

my heart hurt so much today...even my cheer team has grown bigger...i still feel like crying...seem like i can't get him out of my mind even just for a second...it's all bcuz kejadian petang tadi...br je nk hepy lupakan dia sekejap dari my mind...tapi...suddenly dia muncul kat store...very unexpectedly...and i was like statue...terkelu kaku dlm bar nampak dia walked towards me..sumpah..all my emotions mixed up..tak taw nk buat apa time tu...tapi yang pasti..rindu gila kt dia..rasa mcm nk lari pegi hug dia...and i can't even speak properly time ckp ngan dia..padahal dia tanya benda yang langsung takde kaitan ngan diri aku pn..my whole body shaking..tapi dia mcm takde pape perasaan pn...and he don't even said bye time nk blek...and my heart hurt so much since that moment...and for da first time..i cried kt store...all my mood gone just like that...kejam..is it him yg mean or is it me yg lemah...if only i could tell... :(

my tears cause problems again....

what should i do???

my heart finally makes an accident...

i shouldn't love..not me...

even though i try so hard to prevent it...

i know it'll hurt..

but i still make that accident...

without me knowing...

what do i do???

my tears cause problems again...

even though i try to endure...

i don't wanna cry..i don't wanna...

i tried to hide it in my heart forever...

but it be too painful.....

before i let you go....

I see you lookin over

You keep on looking back at what you knew

When will you come closer

Closer to the one that's good for you

Cause you're still goin back to that life

And I refuse to stand on the side

By sparing her from heartache

Dont you know you end up hurting me

I see your head spinning right around

She makes you fall hard and hit the ground

When you ever gonna let her go

I see the way that she breaks you so

All Im asking is for you please

To take control and be set free

Make the space so we can grow

Save us before I let you go

So you say this will get better

Better for you her or me?

Well I dont know what to tell ya

Its not my fault that I dont believe

Cause you're still so stuck in that life

And I refuse to stay on this ride

Cause were goin round in circles

Arent you tired of never having peace

I have been waiting

For you to change this

But it has taken too long

So I cant keep waiting

I've got to change this

It's hard for me to have to be so strong

Dont wanna let you go

Save us before I let you go

Oh no

No I dont ever wanna let you go...

my own cheer team...

korang ade??? haa...takde kn...
im so lucky cuz i have them... :)
whenever im feeling down...they always there to cheer me up...
thaks to them i can forget everythings that stuck im my mind for a while...

doing crazy stuff in da middle of midnight....
sahur gaya ala-ala mission impossible...
its really nice to have u guys beside me...
always...

remembering sunday...

semalam...7th august...bday dia...tp nothing special happen...tak celebrate pn ngan dia...just wish je...tp tu pn dia tak reply...sakitnye hati...alasan takde credit...WTF??? tapi tak pe..aku layankn je...
lagi pun aku keje closing shift...so mmg tak bole pn nk celebrate bagai...tp tak pe..aku gigih jgk nk buat sumthing utk dia...sumthing special...blek keje tahan mata utk tido...aku buat cheesecake utk bday cake dia..1st time ever attempting buat cheesecake...2 3 hari sblom da start cari bahan-bahan...gigih...sambil baking buat skali bday card...owhh..gile laa..semua D.I.Y...hebat tak hebat laa kn...but i'm quite impressive with myself...hasil yg wallah! cheesecake sgt berjaya..cuma kene improve lg kt cookie base...hehe...everybody praise me..cheesecake sedap...and they craving for more... :) tp aku tak kesah org lain puji ke ape...aku nk feedback dr dia je...tp... :( boo..asal u mean sgt ngan me???
owhh..thanks to tenten sbb jd postmen...tengkiu so much!
tp kenape mcm takde feedback dr dia??? kecewanye....tak terkesan sket pn ke kt dia ape yg aku buat nie??? u so mean.... :(

hobby tanpa sedar...

agaknye aku nie mmg ade satu hoby dr dulu lg yg aku xsedar until laa td time buat closing task...tetibe terperasan bende nie and membuatkan aku terfikir sendiri...betol agaknye...sebab bila di fikir-fikir balik...mmg dah lame dah bende nie terjadi kt diri aku...mmg selalu laa...hurmmm....
hahh..bende ape yg aku merapek sorg-sorg nie??? hadoii...hoby laa..hoby..hoby tanpa sedar...paham??? hahhh...ape hoby nye???
jeng..jeng..jeng...
aku rase hoby tanpa sedar aku ialah melebamkan dan melukakan diri sendiri tanpa sengaja...betolll...aku mmg suka langgar bende-bende sekeliling aku tanpa sengaja..pastu kang tetiba je belek-belek diri tgk-tgk ade je lebam-lebam sana sini..xpun luka-luka...haihhh~
lousy and clumsy nisa...kesian kan...

p/s : ok..aku taw aku merapek...sekian! =_='

drifting....

is it me...is it you...

bored..lonely..depressed...

is this it...

i thought that i knew you...

but now i'm not sure...

you used to be so lovely friendly...

but not anymore...

we were once so close..

and now so far...

i hardly know you anymore...

each day we grow farther...

apart and i'm sad...

we used to be lovey dovey...

the best i ever had...

at some point things changed...

and our lives split apart...

i miss you so much...

in my life – in my heart....

i wish it weren't us...

i wish not this way....

is it you....

it's been 2 month now...
and it doesn't feel the same as before...
feel like we're drifting apart...are we???
we're head for heels for each other...
we used to talk EVERY night, for hours...
but lately we haven't been talking too much...
you barley calls now or even messaging...
i'm afraid that we're fading away...
you're always on my mind 24/7...
i go out with my friends to get my mind off you...
but other times when i'm just sitting around...
i think of you, and it hurts...
what hurts is thinking about us drifting apart...

p/s : i miss u so much gingerbread.. :(

BFF.....

fadhilah hayadzi...amad farick...nina gipsy...
u guys are ohsem posem...
owh..tak lupa juga nasrul nash...
thanks for being there for me when im feeling down...
thanks for cheering me up...
u guys really made my day...
sayang korang ketat-ketat..sumpah!
lepakin pintu sukahati sambil tikartalk n layan perasaan elusi.....
karok tgh-tgh mlm buta...
mkn cucuk-cucuk kat dataran......
buat concert dlm kete amad...
lepakin McD n main card....
semua tu really buat saya ceria n happy....

p/s : terima kasih teman... :)