forever...

you can't miss forever...no matter how close forever feels right now...
you can't hurt forever..even if your heart whispers in your ear and tries to convince you otherwise...
you can't bleed forever..sooner or later..you will either die or live...
neither of us can do anything or everything forever...
..because, forever passed away long ago.....



p/s : thanks for making my heart whole again FutureLover...

talking to my self... part 11

classical music...allegro is faster..andante is laid back...

and al dente is the only way to cook pasta....

keh..keh..keh...

p/s : i'm hungry... >.<

i wanna take a chance...

someone to have and hold with all my heart and soul...

someone who'll stay around through all my up's and down's...

please..tell me it's you...

say you're the one..that you always be...

please give me a reason to believe...

and i'd give you my everything.....

p/s : someone who can accept me when i'm at the lowest point of my life but still stick with me and always be there to support me climbing up again..that kind of someone..i want that!

Hey You...!

do you remember me??

..always!

do you miss me??

..every minute every second..

do you think about me??

..always on my mind..

do you love me??

..every single beat of my heart!

p/s : you're the one that i love..the only one i dream of..you're the one i kiss good night..you're the one i want for life...

the most vulnerable part of me...

i don’t want to ever let myself go..i wish to capture the best image people have of me and somehow hold on to it forever because i’m vain and because i’m at that awkward level of attractiveness where people can decide if I’m cute or not...

i would like to go back to the first person who touched me in a loving way and thank him/her kindly while forgetting all the ones who left me feeling cold..why do we always remember the ones who hurt us the most and seem to blank out on the ones who could actually love us??

i want to go back to the time when i had everything in control and didn't feel so much like the "other"..your confidence is supposed to grow as you get older..not diminish..something must be broken here....

Talking to myself... part 10

if something can sit vertically or horizontally..

i always set it horizontally...

safety first!

p/s : eonni..saeng-il chuka-hae..hope u will find ur Future Lover soon..so that i x langkah bendul..eh! >.<

if i told you what i've become...

cause it's so easy to sing it to a crowd...

but it's so hard to say it to you...

all alone...

p/s : maybe i wait for the right time for me to tell u...

pinjaman-Mu

Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Hidup...
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Berdiri Sendiri...
Dengan rahmat-Mu aku memohon pertolongan-Mu...
Perbaikilah untukku, urusanku semuanya...
Dan janganlah Engkau serahkan aku kepada diriku sendiri walau sekelip mata...

hamba-Mu...

“Ya Allah…aku bukanlah hamba-MU yang TERBAIK…namun aku akan BERUSAHA…untuk belajar menjadi insan yang LEBIH BAIK disisi-Mu Ya Allah…Redhailah aku untuk menuju jalan-MU Ya Allah…”

p/s : Dear November..please be awesome to me...

talking to myself... part 9

when butterflies fall in love...

do they feel people in their stomachs???

Putrajaya Night Marathon 2012...

run Nisa run..!!! jyeahh..this is my 1st ever marathon..(since i can remember) and supposedly run sama abam QueZairy..but last minute he can't make it..so terpaksa run solo..but it's okay..nasib baik ada FadhilahHayadzi, UeraLee & WanSitiHazar temankan even though you guys tak run pun..thank you so much guys!!!

and i'm proud of myself cuz i've finished my 10K run in 1hour 35minutes 58seconds... \(^o^)/
i think its pretty good for beginner like me..ahaks! ;p

she said..."hello mister..please to meet ya!"

patiently waiting..and the day has come..i'm freaking nervous..heartbeat race like hell..dupdap..dupdap!!!
in the darkness..he is all i can see..
we magically met one day and we surely were left in awe of one another...
i didn't introduce you to my closest friends and or go my favorite places...
we just..sing along to the music while driving my daddy's car...
brunch together..with mommy + daddy...♥...coffee and movie together...
on a rainy day..i shared my umbrella with you..wrapped my arm around yours...♥☂
cooked spaghetti and have a simple lunch together...♥
i drive you to the bus station..we did not kiss but we did part ways like friends who were just friends...
but deep down inside our heart..we both know what we have was beyond that...
we spend two days together, just feeling comfortable..head over heels...



p/s : what will our new adventures be??

secret code : 143FL

dear u,

how u can stole my whole world in just a blink of an eye..i don't even know...it’s a problem that doesn't necessarily need a conclusion... :)
i just wanna say..thanks sebab muncul & wujud dalam hidup i...thanks juga sebab sudi jadi 'self-appointed Future Lover' i...you're an awesome man! ^^
you're the best..i love you much!!!


p/s : xoxo :)

perfect match...

Q : how soon is too soon so say that you know you've found your perfect match??

A : too fast, too soon...


p/s : true love is forever..the good kind of love forever...

Friday..i'm in love! ^^

"i don't care if Monday's blue

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too

Thursday i don't care about you

it's Friday i'm in love..."

hey, it's Friday..and i think i'm in love!

let's run away..name a place..where the air tastes like rain..and the sun shines like Sunday morning...

you bring your laugh, and i'll bring my sense of humor..and we can waste the days...
don't need a book..don't need anything..but the art of conversation...
..just fall in love with me on this lovely Friday!


p/s : it’s a problem that doesn't necessarily need a conclusion... ^^

new hope...

it sounds so dramatic and cliché ..but i cannot describe it any other way...i don’t know where the turnaround was..but all of a sudden there was something to look forward to...


p/s : hey, are you my future lover?? i hope it's you... 

*no string attached*

never get too attached to anyone because attachments leads to expectations and expectations leads to disappointments...

bittersweet...

it's been the nice weekend for me...hangout with friends..having great time together..laughing as hell..it's really free my mind for a while...
but no matter how hard i'm trying..in the end..when i'm alone..i'll still think of it...

da sosial kids... :)

i wish you well...

10 months..yea..10 months..it's been exactly 10 month since the first time we met..do you still remember??? how have you been now??? are you not going to contact me anymore??? why??? what did i do wrong??? we promise to be friend..didn't we..you forgot???



p/s : i wish you well.....

dan calon-calonnya......

semalam dinner date ngan ibu di McD...sembang-sembang..mostly topic about abg's wedding day n raya openhouse rithu...dan bila da start topic pasal kahwin-kahwin..mesti laa wa terkena tempiasnya..dan ianya berkait-rapat ngan siapa yang datang openhouse rithu..acaner tu??? >.<
my  friends tersangat laa prihatin and mengambil-berat with my condition sekarang nie yang sedang menjalankan single life..so, they dengan selambanya telah self-appointed diri sendiri menjadi matchmaker for me..untung laa kannn~ -_-'
and openhouse rithu telah menjadi platform for them untuk memperkenalkan calon-calon menantu-to-be kepada ibu..yang sorang nie dok promote si dia nie..yang sorang nie dok kenen-kenenkan ngan si dia nie..yang sorang nie plak sebuk dok hint-hintkan si dia nie plak..hadoi laa... -___-'
so last night ibu da bagi senarai calon-calon yang layak..eh!
ibu said only two of them..hamboi!
1) abam myvi
2) abam preve
apakah weiyhh??? O_o apesal wa mesti terlibat dalam hal nie??? deng~
ibu cakap hantaran biar ibu yang letak..rm12,000.00..mampu??? *headache weiyh* ~_~
wa tak terfikir pun semua tu..oh, God why???
but one thing yang me terfikir ialah..ntah-ntah my friends tu memain je..gurau-gurau jadi matchmaker..and kalau pun betul dia-orang promote calon-calon tersebut..what's the situation pihak sana plak kan..ntah-ntah si calon-calon tu takde rasa pape pun..pepandai je my friends tu appointed mereka jadi calon..haihhh!

little miss N.H :)

it's feel so strange but cute when someone whose friend with u keep calling u with nick 'miss N.H ;)'...and the best part is..he don't even know the history of 'N.H'...



p/s : hey, how are you doing?? i really miss u..N.H...

quote of the day...

"kalau rasa tetiba teringat bekas makwe/pakwe, elok sangat dah tu kepitkan kepala kat pintu peti ais.."

-Kerky Sugar..a.k.a..abam-ipar-tak-jadi-

:: world of quotes ::

"You forgive me for liking you too much,

And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

You forgive me for missing you so,

And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,

And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

You forgive me for playing your games,

And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

You forgive me for finding you so attractive,

And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

You forgive me for raising you up so high,

And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

You forgive me for wanting to be with you,

And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

You forgive me for being so pathetic,

And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,

And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,

And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

Forgiveness brings inner peace.

Do we have a deal?"

Al-Fatihah buat Arwah Tok...

"Who, when a misfortune overtakes them, say: 'Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return'." 

-Surah Al-Baqara, Verse 156-

Ahad, 26 August 2012 bersamaan 8 Syawal 1433 Hijrah..06:51pm, arwah Tok Melaka pergi meninggalkan kami semua buat selama-lamanya... :(
even though she's not my biological grandma..i always love her as my own granny...
Al-Fatihah buat Siti Kalsom binti Ahmad..semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan arwah Tok di sana juga semoga roh Tok ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman dan sentiasa tenang di sana..aminn!

chomel juga kan berhijab begini... :)

Eid Mubarak 1433H..Maaf Zahir Batin...

Ramadan berlalu pergi...Syawal muncul kembali...Alhamdulillah masih berkesempatan merasainya sekali lagi...
Eid Mubarak to all..Maaf Zahir Batin..for all the wrongs that i done intentionally or unintentionally...

tapi...the feel..i dont know..i lost it..that feel..its gone..since last year..ingat tahun nie boleh normal..tapi...i've become more untalkative..byk diam n termenung + otak merewang fikir macam-macam..kenapa?? i, my own-self cant figure it out..but try jadi poker face..so that nobody cant notice it...
tapi mungkin i'm not a good actress sebab time salam makuda before balik JB...

*salam cium tangan*
me : balik dulu ibu..datang laa JB...
makuda : insyaAllah..ade rezeki sampai laa...
me : okayy... :)
makuda : dah..adik jangan sedih-sedih..
me : .......
makuda : baru hari nie ibu nampak adik okay..ceria..happy sket...
me : .......
*peluk kuat-kuat*

speechless...sebenarnye nak nangis...tapi tahan je..tahan! try jadi poker face lagi..kalau nangis..kantoi laa!

dreams...

when people appear in your dreams...

it's because that person want to see you...

is it true?? i wish its true...

40 kinds of sadness...

dear Future Lover,

why time flies so slow...
i know you're just around the corner...
but, just around the corner is not enough...
my eyes are waiting at the door...
i don't know why..
but, i miss you all the time...


p/s : i don't want the room to breathe..just be here with me...

paradise...

a faded white painting and my slightly vanished scent are hidden inside an eye-blinding cloud...

i walk..trying to lessen the weight of my heart...
i run..adding to the weight of my faith...

to a place that is neither close nor far..high nor low...
where a different me stands...

a place i live the present life instead of the memories...
with a small smile i can laugh..i will not cry!


p/s : anywhere will be my dream place..as long as u'll always be there with me future lover...

pain...

when there is pain, there are no words...

all pain is the same...

ms. nintendique...

i heard that really orange eye shadow and pink gloss are must-haves! for this summer...

i gotta read more..ms. nintendique!

Arsenal 2012 Tour

so..i just went back from KL..gigih puasa-puasa mcm nie..motifnya??? semangat gediks p Arsenal 2012 Tour with kembar..motif utama semangat p ialah HERO wa sebenarnya..you know..RVP???
tapi malangnya..HERO tak datang pun..sumpah kecewa..but izokey..sebab Arteta ada..miahahaa~ kira terubat laa sket...
dan sebenarnya..wa pun tataw apesal wa semangat nak p Arsenal Tour..padahal wa nie fan Chelsea kot..hello! tapi wa dapat rasakan sebab HERO wa..but too bad laa dia tak datang..tapi sebab da beli ticket..so kena p juga laa..da laa dapat training session pass skali..rugi woo! lagi..bole jumpa kembar skali..da lama gila kot tak jumpa..and..amik 'stuff' wa yg lama gila tersimpan kat Pejal...


p/s : hurmm...agak-agak 'dia' pegi tak Arsenal Tour nie???

Ramadan Kareem 1433 Hijrah

Alhamdulillah..i've been given yet another year to embrace Ramadan...and it started very well for me with Tarawih prayer...hoping that this Ramadan will be much better than last year...let's pray and hope that this will not be the last Ramadan for us... ^___^

raining days...

when it rains..it pours...

bring an umbrella!

cry-baby...

she's tough on the outside..but so fragile in the inside..not trying to show she's weak in front of people.. pretending to be happy like nothing's wrong..so true...
but..well yeah..she such a cry-baby lately..eh! yeke?? dari dulu lg kot..same je!
but lately..sgt cry-baby..almost everyday pun meleleh..fragile gila!
reasons..unknown...too much thinking i think..jd over-sensitive..soft-hearted maybe...
been talking to herself, bear-bear, takuy n kimy also cuddle with luvlymiekey...
tapi..still tak ok jgk..kalau ok pun sekejap je..pastu cry-baby blek....
what she really need now is..lengan as punching bag utk di tumbuk cubit n gigit..then dada yg bidang as bantal yg empuk utk di sembamkan muka..sepasang tangan as a blanket to hug and make her feel safe n warm..and a voice that can calm her and telling everything well be ok...



p/s : maybe i need someone to talk to..a shoulder to cry..but who would be that some one???

a selfish life...

hey, remember me...
i remember you..walking away...
from all that you made...
you lost or threw away...
traded in for a brand new life...
but, i can't let go..neither turn around...
so i have to hold my head high and walk away too...


p/s : 11.07.12..it's been exactly 8 months since 11.11.11..do u still remember??

Talking to myself... part 8

when you have a headache, toothache or stomachache...

you can take pain-killer to relieve the pain...

so, can pain-killer relief a heartache too??

homophobic

...a man who is afraid of gays is probably insecure about his own sexuality...

syukur...

Ya, Allah…

if i can’t have what i want…

please, let me want what i have…

aminnn…..

mommy 55th b-day bash :)

well, actually i wanted to do something like daddy b-day bash for mommy..but since her boyfie already took her out earlier today..so we just went for dinner at Sizzling Stonegrill...saengil-chuka hae omma! ^^

mashed potato dia ohsem.. :)

master chef malaysia..not!

main masak2 atas batu panas...

b-day girl with her boyfie...

train insane..remain the same...

so..i'm going to participate in marathon end of this year..and this is serious..no joke! and today is like my 1st day of training + jogging with my 'self-appointed coach'..and i dont know why..i felt nervous..kelakar kan?? but seriously..i'm nervous! sumpah tak tipu!

so we started our jogged around 6pm..pusing keliling setia tropika..and because it is my first time..br jogged sket je da mengah..no stamina! (-_-;)

luckily my coach sorg yg baik and sgt supportive..kononnye garang and nak bully wa..tapi tade pun..hee~ (^___^) jogged around 2km in about 20 minutes..ok laa tu kot..tapi coach ckp wa power..ye-ye je! nampak sangat gaya-gaya ayat perangsangnye..tapi wa termakan jgk ngan kata-kata dia..hahaa!

so after this i'm gonna exercise more and more regularly..jyeahh!


p/s : gigih beli new running shoes..nice kan?? *woot-woot* \(^o^)/

cake batek marie me anyone???

cake batek marie me.. :)

so..since da pandai buat cake batek nie..mmg tersangat laa rajin membuatnye..sekejap-sekejap je rase nak buat..mentang-mentang laa cake paling senang nak buat..ingredients pun simple..kemain! hehee~

da ingredients...

melt da butter...

add susu pekat..

milo... :)

looks yummy...

final ingredient...

moulding time..

tadaa... :)

p/s : buat cake batek mmg champion..tp bab potong utk hidang..epic fail... >.<

in case we become strangers

What's so great about that person that I can't forget him?
What did that person ever do for me?
That he tortures me by preventing me from breathing like this..

If I can hold onto you like this..
Can we go back to us in the beginning?
My friends say I'm stupid and that I should save face but..
I can't acknowledge this - not holding onto you because of pride..
In my longing filled with regret, I can't erase you..

You put up with me, always wanting to do things my way..
You always embraced anything I wanted but why?
Why are you cowardly acting like you're someone else?
Why? You're the one who confessed your love to me first..
It was you who said we should get married..
You might be sick of hearing the same thing but I don't wanna be strangers..

but...

In case we become strangers, I can't give my heart to anyone else but you..
If I leave you as well, we might become strangers..
So I remained alone on the street where you left and cried for a long time..
In case we run into each other, I wait for you with a burning heart but where are you?

I guess we're really strangers - as if my heart has died, my heart keeps hurting..
We were really in love but now we can't see each other..
I guess we're really strangers now.....

p/s : it's okay if it hurts, it's okay if it's too late, all you need to do is come back..i hope you will know this...

M&M...

i only eat the brown ones..because chocolate is already brown... (^___^)

You will get through this...I promise....

And some day..some wonderful and beautiful day...
You will meet someone who makes you feel happy and worthwhile again...
And he will be worth it...

Until then...just breathe.....

The pain does fade...So look to that time somewhere in the future... :)

p/s :  you will receive someone in your life who you truly deserve..who will be FAITHFUL and HONEST..someone AMAZING and WONDERFUL...

daddy 56th b-day bash :)

last tuesday was daddy 56th b-day..so i decided to take him n his girlfriend out for dinner..i took them to T.G.I Friday... :)
and we had a great time!